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Archive for October, 2013

Two deaths

Screen Shot 2013-10-31 at 10.31.14 AMLast week two young men died, two kind, considerate, intelligent, attractive, talented,   generous young men, both under 40. One wanted to; one didn’t. One had pancreatic cancer. He was a Veteran who told me cancer was definitely more scary than bullets whizzing by his head. He wanted desperately to live and fought the cancer to the end.

The other was a healthy young man who had lost faith in the world. I think he was suffering from a chemical depression but he wouldn’t see the doctor. Instead, he found a rope and hanged himself.

As a cancer survivor, I value each second of life, no matter how challenging. I talked for long hours to the second young man about how much he had to give and how precious life is. He couldn’t seem hear me or any of his other friends. His heart and his faith were broken.

LIFE is…what? Mysterious, maddening, infuriating, sad AND joyous, loving, gloriously beautiful. I’ve been trying to process these two deaths, wrapping my head around the senselessness. It took me back to 2003 when Gina died. If you’ve read my book, you know I was the one who was supposed to die. I was humiliated and disgraced. I thought my life was over and I wanted it to be. I wanted to die. I was 57 and done. Instead Gina, beautiful, darling YOUNG Gina died. And I was so mad at God. It just didn’t make sense. And now, once again, these two deaths don’t make sense. But I’m not mad anymore. I’m just profoundly sad over the loss of these two friends.

As a member of the human race, YOU are ALIVE. Treasure each breath, every challenge, every joy. Find your passion and purpose and live it to the fullest. Life is a blessing and we are the blessed. I live in gratitude.

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