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I love words, their power and their magic. In our prison classes, we have a vocabulary list to enhance the verbal acumen Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 4.24.03 PMof our students by using words like curmudgeon, voracious, hyperbole, myriad and gregarious. Their eyes light up when they “get it.”

I’ve been absent from my blog for awhile but words have brought me back today. I’m not a Mensa but I’m fortunate enough to have friends who are. They delight me with their brilliance, particularly their curiosity about everything. They love to explore knowledge, but when you’re that smart it also helps to be be funny or quirky or just plain irreverent so you don’t burn out.

Every year Mensa International  sends out an invitation inviting members to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. These are definitely worthy adding to our lexicon. They are wickedly clever and irreverent.  See if you can figure out the very slight but powerful change.

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Here are the winners:

 

 

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

Mensa also publishes the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavoured mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

I think Webster’s should consider adding some of these. And, by the way, if you’re curious about Mensa, go to https://www.mensa.org

The New Year is fast approaching. Instead of a traditional resolution, why not resolve to increase your vocabulary. One excellent way is to Google crossword puzzles. All levels of sites will pop up with the power to take you around the world with words. This view of our world using words to define politics  is a brilliant example of word power.Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 4.30.08 PM

 

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After hospital and emergency surgery, I have spent the month at a much slower pace, trying to recuperate. “Rest,” my doctor said. Easy for her to say, but there were some things too important to put on the back burner, namely ATHENA.

This takes some background info. Last year through divine providence I met MarthaMertz, the founder of ATHENA International (http://www.athenainternational.org/). Twenty-eight years ago, Martha had a vision about women and leadership. I highly recommend you read her book, Becoming ATHENA, for the history of her very important journey. It is powerful, intelligent, and inspiring.

On her quest to learn how women lead, Martha realized that women use eight principles for leadership. When I read her book, I “got it” immediately and thought, “These are rules for all of us to live by. These would be wonderful taught at the prison.” I asked Martha if she would like to go to prison to do a program for Gina’s Team, our organization that brings educational programs into prisons and juvenile facilities.  That request is usually greeted by stunned silence, but Martha also “got it.” She immediately said, “Yes.”

So last December, Martha went to Perryville Prison in Goodyear, AZ for Gina’s Team to conduct an “ATHENA World Café” to introduce the women in prison to these principles. Here they are:

 The ATHENA Leadership Model*

Live Authentically. Being true to yourself. An inner clarity centers in core beliefs, grounded in ethics, and honed through reflection. A sense of purpose, pursued with integrity. Authenticity is the single most important quality of leadership. Leaders know their values and remain true to them.

Learn Constantly. Continuous development of skills and competencies, regardless of your level of achievement. Understanding built on experience, intuition and self-directed learning. The art of listening; the ability to learn from role models, bad as well as good. Leaders seek knowledge.

Advocate Fiercely. Passionate, personal devotion to something that deeply matters. Acting with unswerving commitment tempered by respect and compassion. Generating a powerful force for good. Leaders champion what they believe is right.

Act Courageously. The willingness to stand alone and speak the truth, to question assumptions or challenge the status quo. The determination to act honorably, consistent with your values, even in the face of fear or loss. Leaders dare.

Foster Collaboration. Valuing the gifts each individual brings, with a perspective that is global and a spirit that is inclusive. Deepening understanding, awareness, and knowledge through diversity. Encouraging participation from those who are often overlooked. Leaders welcome others to the work of leadership.

Build relationships. Connecting genuinely with those around you. A willingness to bond with others, profoundly and productively, with trust and respect; to reach beyond status and self-interest in search of meaningful connections. Leaders engage, empower, and trust.

Give Back. Leaving a worthy legacy for your community and the world. Recognizing that with success comes a responsibility to enrich the lives of others. Generously devoting voice, position, and resources to advance the greater good. Leaders serve.

Celebrate. The age-old practice of gathering to mark important times. Strengthening bonds of unity through creative expression, rituals and traditions. Memorializing moments, triumphant or tragic; sharing joyful or solemn reflection. Leaders remember and rejoice.

The women in prison also “got it.” The feedback was overwhelmingly enthusiastic. We then went to prison officials to see if we could teach it as a continuing program.  We were delighted when the answer was Yes. And so Martha’s new journey began. She has taught ATHENA Leadership in China, India, Dubai, and all over Europe and the United States, always to women who already have a measure of success and education. This would be the first time in prison where 50% of all inmates enter with less than an eighth grade education.  Rarely do they think of themselves as leaders and for some, this could very well be a paradigm shift.

Martha didn’t want to teach this alone. She wanted to team teach with me. I was thrilled and deeply honored. As a former prisoner, there is no doubt I have an “inside knowledge” of how things run as well as what inmates’ expectations are.  However, since I am a former inmate, we had to get special permission for me to be allowed back in to teach this class and are grateful that the administration shared Martha’s vision and decided to allow it. Once all this was accomplished and class schedules were set, we attacked the curriculum. Our first class was June 23.

Research done. Curriculum completed. Handouts copied.  All very professional. We are ready. But we are women and so we also had another serious conversation, “What are we going to wear?” There are lots of rules, beginning with no orange (no problem for me), no brown or khaki, no low-cut or sleeveless tops, no short skirts, no excessive jewelry. But I do know that inmates are starved for color so I always recommend that to our volunteers. Finally we really are ready.

 To be continued…

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